Positive Body Image – You Are Rocking That Body!
You Are Unique
You may be reading that title thinking “why thank you” or you may read that title then glance over your shoulder whispering to yourself “WHO is she talking to?”
I’m talking to YOU yes YOU. YOU reading this are rocking that body. Look in the mirror, do you doubt that statement? What is the first thing that stands out to you when you look in the mirror? Did you notice loose skin, a wrinkle, some grey hair, or some other thing that you may have noticed and labelled as an imperfection
Do you realise how unique you are? Do you realise that out of 7.8 billion estimated people currently in the world there is only ONE of you?! You are ONE in 7.8 billion. Let that thought sink in. Even individual twins have different fingerprints and different individual emotions, feelings, preferences and personalities. And if that wasn’t mind blowing enough, in the whole history of time since time began there has never been another you. You are completely unique, a one of a kind wonder, put here for this moment in this time period, think back to all the paths you have crossed, the people you have helped, the ones who have helped you, new life that has grown inside of you, another brand new one of a kind being emerging from your one of a kind being…… Now in light of all this look in the mirror….. You are looking at someone who is one of a kind. How completely mind blowing is that when you let it fully sink in? How important is that loose skin, that wrinkle, that grey hair, some other thing you may have noticed and labelled as an imperfection. That microscope you use on yourself isn’t used by anyone else on you.
The image we often create in our minds of ourselves isn’t what others see, so often that image we have created falsely and critically doesn’t actually exist. Yes there are cruel people in our world who have said nasty things about us which only serves to confirm to us that yes others do notice our imperfections, when actually what would lead a person to be so cruel is the fact that they are more utterly upset and critical about their own appearance and their own lives that they hit out at you often saying things they don’t actually believe, sometimes little did they know they said something that you already secretly believed about yourself, as often our worst critic is sadly ourselves.
It’s also important to point out that hurtful comments aren’t targeted only to those who are labelled as ‘overweight’ but also aimed at those seen to be ‘too thin’ or short or tall and much more. I remember years ago being thin and constantly having people commenting on it, “so what” you might think or “lucky you” but these personal comments I feel are still unnecessary whatever size you are. These were comments such as. “Where do you put all that food? In your hollow legs?” while I was eating cake or “Are you naturally thin?” which almost asked the question did I have an eating disorder? I am not sure why these personal comments are seen as acceptable and complimentary even but saying to someone who is large “where do you put all that food? Your tummy looks full enough to me” or “Are you naturally fat?” would be considered extremely rude? We must remember that whatever size someone is it isn’t necessary to comment on it in a way that implies that they are different to the ‘norm’ whatever that may be. I am sorry if you have had to endure comments or scrutiny on your body.
If only we could see ourselves as a child would see us, and speak to ourselves as we would to a small child. A small child views their parent as the most perfect beautiful safe person in the world, and we speak to children tenderly and encourage them and praise them and would NEVER comment on their body shape. If only we would talk to the small child within us, speaking to ourselves tenderly, with care, with encouragement and praise. Why don’t you try it?
Our mind is like fertile soil meaning it can quickly grow very helpful and nurturing thoughts or quickly grow very unhelpful and toxic thoughts which will go on to greatly affect our mood and outlook.
Many companies benefit from us wishing we were thinner, if we were completely happy with our bodies then slimming diets, pills, drinks, slimming pants and many others would be out of business!
Of course it is good to eat well and exercise but I think that decision should mainly come from wanting to feel better and more energised and not based on wanting to change how we look. I think we need to love and accept ourselves first then move on from that point.
Babipur have a very healthy and realistic all-inclusive approach in their advertising, from models used for advertising to branding, sizing and styles. I think this should be the same for all companies.
Here are some links to different clothing brands from Babipur.
I wrote a poem called “The mum tum” Let the words sink in and I hope in some way this is healing for you:
The mum tum – Jo Le Page
The mum tum is wobbly and wrinkled with rolls.
The mum tum is saggy and stretched with folds.
The mum tum can make you feel more self aware.
“If I wear that tight top will anyone stare?”
The mum tum can make us feel shame of our size.
We squeeze into control pants what we want to hide.
We are jealous of others who are only too happy to say
They used to have a mum tum but then it went away!
“Why is she so slim?”
“What am I doing wrong?”
All too often woman are singing this song.
Stretch marks or tiger stripes, call them what you choose
Either way scars are souvenirs that you never lose.
A reminder of the unspeakable gift that you grew inside.
A gift that is denied to so many who have tried and tried.
A gift that you nourished, kept safe and warm.
This gift never felt pain, shame, sadness or scorn.
A gift that once in this world to them you became
The most perfect being who could ever be named!
Your mum tum was soft where they laid their head
Comforted by your smell and the words that you said.
The very fact that this miracle was born alive
Is a blessing that to many is tragically denied.
I hope you can see how special you are.
How blessed you have been to have come this far.
To have flourished new life in the depths of your being.
To have been blessed with the growing reminder that you are daily seeing.
It is an emotional journey becoming a mum.
And the wonder of it all is so much more than your tum!
So take comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.
When your child hugs your tum remember that was their first home.
When you look in the mirror smile and feel proud
For you have grown brand new humans for crying out loud!
My body reminds me of joy and of loss.
And how my arms ached for a baby I wanted whatever the cost.
If the cost of a baby is a sag here and there
I will take it and own it and see beauty there
Your tum is a reminder of how far you have come
On this miraculous journey of becoming a mum.