Growing our Family – Siblings
I last wrote on this topic when I was pregnant with Megan. The unknown of how Quentin would react to his new brother or sister made me rather anxious,
I certainly did worry that Quentin would feel left out, or replaced in some way. but as it turns out, I needn’t have worried so much.
I’m grateful that I am surrounded by close family and friends. Due to my emergency caesarian I wasn’t able to see Quentin til the afternoon on the day after Megan’s birth, I was in the process of having a blood transfusion when he arrived, and Megan was under her light therapy lamp.
He was curious, concerned and unable to cuddle either of us, though he politely refused to cuddle Megan he did have a good look. He understood I was ill and not able to cuddle him very much.
The days following during my hospital stay Quentin did visit regularly but didn’t really come to me whilst I was holding Megan until the 4th day (the day before I was discharged). He was aware that the baby would be coming home and staying with mummy and daddy.
The following weeks proved interesting. With his trips to the loo becoming parent dependant again, needing them the moment I started nursing. Deciding that only a particular parent can do that job at any one time, no matter what they were doing. This and bedtimes were the hardest of the obstacles I faced.
Bedtimes often resulted in balancing Megan nursing on my knee, book in the other and cuddling a toddler as well.
The delicate balancing act of Megan and Quentin time has now settled, He understands that only mummy can do certain things like ‘give Megan boobies’ has he so eloquently puts it. Bedtimes are more like Megan laid on Quentin’s bed at story time, and leaving him to go to sleep in his own time happily afterwards so mummy can feed Megan. He loves touching, stroking and cuddling her! and when asked who Megan is his response is ‘My Megan’.
Although I fully accept the dynamics of the sibling relationship will fluctuate vastly over the coming months and years, but for now I have achieved my initial goal. Allowing Quentin to accept Megan into his life without any forcing or prompting. We let him lead his interaction with Megan and approach her in his own time. This for me was a huge thing, and although he does still display signs of adjusting to these changes, like bad days on accidents (wetting himself) and occasional tantrums most of which are normal for his age, I hope that from this start their bond will naturally strengthen and that resentment between siblings will be minimal.